When you are single and desperate, sometimes it is the scariest thing. I have this friend of mine who had a goal by this certain age she should be married. She is married now, so mission was accomplished even though in the beginning it looked like it was impossible. She is one of those women who are very picky and everything somehow has to go her way. The way she viewed this dating and relationship area was very different than some of us would have. But after realizing her ways were not working as she planned, she decided to reach out for help.
One day she called and asked me to put her in my prayers. But then during our conversation I found out she was hanging out with these few friends of hers who were also single looking for courtship. She complained to me that the law of attraction was not working for her and she was tired of waiting. These men have been coming to court her so far they were all not her type, therefore she was wasting her time.
So I asked her, “What do you think went wrong? Why was she kept getting the men that she thought were not her type?” And she said, “I don’t know.” Then I asked her, “What is your type?” When she told me what is her type or kind of man she was looking for, and the places she had been going to shop for these men, then I knew why she was in this kind of frustration.
Therefore my advice to her was, first, she did a very wise thing to involve God in her life. This is the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, and if God is not in the middle of their relationship, then their relationship solid foundation will not be firm’s enough to endure the trials, tests, and struggles that are in most relationships.
Second, I told her she had been looking or hanging out in wrong places. I gave her an example of myself for instance; I am a born-again Christian, the last place I will go to look for a future potential man will not be in a nightclub. I will be putting myself in one in a million chances situation; therefore my options will be very limited. Since I also know what kind of a man I would like to spend my life with, I would go to places where more of these kinds of men hangout. I told her since God is not limited, it’s possible to also meet a man you are looking for at the grocery store, or in a train, and so on. In fact I have dated someone before whom we met in a train on our way to work. He had been a born-again Christian for few years already, and I was a new born-again Christian, I think it was my second year of being a born-again Christian. We didn’t get married, but I learned a lot through that relationship. Sometimes things happen for a reason. There are also blessings in disguise; you have got to be open-minded.
The third thing I told her is that not always everything will fall into your lap. The law of attraction doesn’t say always everything will fall into your lap like you have planned or thought. Sometimes you have got to go and get it, whatever it is you want to achieve in your life. I also told her even in Churches they have these communities that Church members and attendees can go to mingle and getting to know each other. So you can join these cell or community groups within your Church where you can meet these Church members outside Church and mingle. If you also have to join certain book clubs, or attend certain seminars to increase your chances, then so be it.
And the last thing I advised her was the best time is now. Even though you have to prepare yourself for the opportunity ahead of time to increase your chances to get it, but while you are looking for it, it means you are also preparing for it at the same time. And if you wait for conditions to be perfect before you do anything, then there is a possibility that you are going to wait forever. Each day has its own problems and conditions, so the best time is now. My friend was a backslidden Christian at the time, and she wanted a Christian and God-fearing man, therefore there was a shift she needed to make, and a choice she had to make.
Mark Twain has been quoted saying, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Many times we have got to be go-getters in order to increase our chances to succeed. If we are waiting for perfect conditions in order to start following that dream or achieving that goal, to start living the life we have imagined, there is a possibility we are going to wait for a really longtime. There will never be a perfect time like now. We can start where we are, with what we have, and as we continue to do what we can, things will begin to unfold for us, and doors will begin to open as we keep on knocking, pursuing, and persisting to living the life we have imagined for ourselves. Success comes to those who make things happen.
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