How to Increase Your Self-Esteem


Self-esteem has been an issue for so many of us. We are constantly on the process of learning to accept ourselves for who we are. We all probably know it takes really long time to reach that self realization and a point where we really appreciate who we are, and are comfortable in our own skin. Each person’s journey is different, therefore what may be able to boost somebody else’s self-esteem can be different from what it may take to help you have more self-esteem.

When you talk about self-esteem, you cannot avoid talking about self-love and perception. Self-esteem is about the way we think and see about ourselves. A lot of self-esteem has got to do with self-image, self-love, and self-acceptance. This is something you need to work on yourself and it’s an ongoing journey. There were times when I thought my self-esteem was okay, but then I found out each time something major happen that has a negative effect on me, my self-esteem will lower, so I have to work on bringing it up again.

I have six tips that can help you increase your self-esteem, or self-respect, or sense of worth. They are not tricks, but they are things that if you can apply them daily in your life, they may be able to help you.

  • Count your blessings

There are two situations that people like to give thanks for. The first one is when God or someone has done something for them, or something good and dramatic happened to them, and they become so much appreciative to the point where they just want to give thanks. The second one is when you give thanks in advance before it even happened. Maybe you believe God for something, so you thank God in advance as a way to show your faith in Him.

The way you can build or increase your self-esteem is to learn to count your blessings. You look at what you have so far that God has blessed you with already, and I am sure there are so many good things in your life you can be thankful for. And it’s funny, the more we are thankful the more we find more things to be thankful for. When we are down, all we need to focus on what’s good in our lives. And when we begin to give thanks, we will find out we have so many things to be grateful for, therefore that feeling of despair will disappear at least for the moment until we figure out how to solve what got us down in the first place.

Learning to count your blessings is something that will help you see how much you are blessed, even though it may not be as much as somebody else. It will give you a sense of appreciation for yourself and your life. But also when we count our blessings we build that confidence and esteem, that we are alright, we are okay, we can do it, and we are loved.

  • Find a hobby

This has worked for me every time. You see, a hobby is something we love to do, and perhaps really passionate about. And it can be something that you are also really good at. You love it, and you practice it daily, and you really enjoy doing it.

Most of us we treat a hobby as our cave that we run to, when we want to hide from our surroundings, environments, or misery. A hobby is a place where we feel comfortable to express ourselves and creativity. A place where we can explore ourselves what we think we are good at.

And since most of us are doing really well when it comes to our hobbies, we get that self-esteem, that we are ‘it.’ We may not be good at something else out there, but we are good at this. This is our territory, and it makes us happy.

Therefore, another way you can increase your self-esteem is by getting involved in some kind of a hobby. Practice it daily and get really good at. It will build your self-esteem. Besides, you will have something to look forward to be doing regularly. And since it makes you feel good about yourself, there you go, your self-esteem level increases.

  • Be kind to yourself

You know we are always taught to be kind to others, but we forget that we also need to be kind to ourselves. Being kind can mean being generous, friendly, and considerate. Often enough, we are not being generous to ourselves, friendly, or considerate of ourselves. Let’s be honest, that can be another reason why some of us we have so much low self-esteem.

We spend our time and energy trying to please everybody else, but truth is that we can’t please everybody. Some of them, no matter how we try, it won’t be enough. I think some of us we overdo it to the point that we expect others to do the same for us, but it doesn’t turn out that way. You can correct me if I am wrong.

Be kind to yourself, the same way you use or do to be kind to others. When you consider other, consider yourself too. When you are generous to others, be generous to yourself too. When you are true to others, be true to yourself too. I know it’s not something simple to do especially if it has to be a regular thing, because our societies train us to do more for others, but with lots of practice, it will come a time where it becomes natural to be kind to yourself without feeling guilty anymore.

When you are kind to yourself, you are also building your self-esteem. You are actually saying, “I am also worthy, important, or valuable to deserve such and such kindness.” We really don’t have to wait for someone to like us to like us, or compliment us, in order to compliment ourselves. So, be kind to yourself and also love yourself.

  • Fake it until you make it

We all can relate with this. Some of the people who have self-confidence know what I am talking about. Sometimes you could be sweating, but continue to acting cool, because that’s what you may have to do in order to get the job, or keep the presentation going, or get that someone you just asked out on a date to say yes, and et cetera.

Many times we will need to push ourselves when it comes to doing things, and this is when fake it until you make it comes on handy. Because when you are faking it, you are pushing yourself to say “You can do it, or you are smart, or you are beautiful, etc.”

The good part is that after you make yourself doing something even if at first you didn’t feel qualified, but then you were able to do it, it can really boost your self-confidence and self-esteem. We often think we can’t do this, or that, but guess what happens after we do it? Our perspectives about ourselves change, but also our esteems and confidence on ourselves increase.

Whatever it is you don’t like about yourself, or you think you cannot do, you can push yourself, or break the barrier by forcing yourself to face it. And in the beginning you will need to fake it, until you really make it.

You can also practice using positive affirmations, and affirm that you want to see yourself achieving or becoming. Positive affirmations can really lift our energy up, and bring that positivity that we need on regular basis to do things, and overcome things. Just the thought of affirming something good about ourselves or our lives, is motivation enough to make us go after it. So, act as if, or in other similar words, fake it until you make it.

  • Surround yourself with positive people

Or you can also say surround yourself with positive minded people, or it can also be great people. There is something about great people, or positive people that they have in common. Great people like to make others to feel that they can be great too. The same goes for positive people; they bring that positive energy, and when it brushes on you, it leaves a good influence on you.

When you hang around with people who know how to control their inner negative critics by showing you how well they speak of themselves and others, it can really get you want to be like them. When you have people to encourage you can do it, when you think you can’t, and really, there are some people out there who were able to do some things because somebody else believed in them, somebody else say they could do it.

Positive people know how to lift people up. When you hang around with people who are good to you, people who are positive minded people, they can instill that good energy on you. That energy that can make you feel you too are important or you can also become a conqueror, or that energy that can uplift and cheer you up.

So, surround yourself with positive minded people, they can influence you somehow in a way to boost your self-esteem. We all need to be surrounded by positivity, and positive people who can bring positive influences in our lives.

  • Set goals for yourself

You may ask, ‘What kind of goals?’ Well, all kinds of goals really. They can be in any area of your life. They can be financial goals, health and wellness goals, relationship goals, career goals, business goals, personal growth goals, you name it.

When you set goals for yourself even before you achieve them, the fact that you have goals it’s something that should be able to build your self-esteem up. Because you have some kind of map in your life, you have something to pursue, achieve for yourself and your loved ones. You should be proud of yourself, because some people don’t have that. They live their lives with no goals, nothing to aim at, maybe because no one taught them, or they don’t see the need.

It’s just when you have goals, it helps you get focused. So, when you set goals for yourself, it should be a pretty good thing for you because you now have this sense of awareness of what you want, or who you want to become, and you are willing to go after it. That should be able to boost your self-esteem up. And we all know when we achieve some of our goals, our self-esteems increase immediately.

I don’t know which one of these tips will work for you, but give them a try, you will never know. I have applied them in my life too, and they somehow helped me, and that’s why I have shared them with you.

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