Just today on Twitter someone posted and said, “Beauty is about living your life and being happy with yourself inside and out and not worrying about what people think of you,” and I thought it was interesting. I truly agree that beauty is more than what societies think and portray of it. There are lots of factors can come to play when it comes to inner and outer beauty. The fact is that how you see beauty depends on each individual’s perspective, because beauty is always on the eye of the beholder. Just like our beliefs and values can differ and vary, so it’s possible that what I may see or think is beautiful, it may not be beautiful to you. I have shared more about this in “Let’s Talk about Self-Esteem.”
I call myself ‘a late bloomer,’ simply because for a while I somehow let life passed me by, and really, the truth is I didn’t know better. But it reached a point I got really fed up of being average and that was the only push I needed to wanted to change and improve myself and my life. All I can say is that I should have been fiercer in all endeavors in my life. It took me time to get here, so many things I had to overcome. I first had to learn how to overcome my inner critics and enemies; I had to work on my self-esteem issues, worked on increasing my confidence level and I still do to this day, but I also had to decide to be more aggressive in pursuing my goals and dreams. It was more about inner work that I had to go through including changing my mindset. And there are so many things I have learned, but I would like to share three essentials things that have helped me along the way to overcome the challenges of my today that you and I have to deal with while we are pursuing our goals and dreams.
- Seek not other people’s approval
I am not saying you should not have a mentor, or ask wise people for advice. In order to feel and be confident in yourself, but also in your capabilities, we need to detach ourselves from seeking other people’s approvals, and rely more on what we want for ourselves. Never seek for other people’s approval is one of the key essential requirements if you are going to be a success. Give yourself permission to dream, to try new things, to go after your goals without seeking approval and validation from anyone other than yourself.
You really do not need to live up to other people’s expectations. I have learned this lesson over and over again; the moment you start to approve yourself, other people will start approving you even when they doubted you before. If you know what you want, all you have got to do in order to start or begin is to believe you can make it happen, because with God all things are possible. You really don’t need other people validation to start making things happening. Because we are good enough, we just don’t know yet. And unless we try, we won’t know it.
- Never be afraid to fail
Successful people are risk takers; they take calculated risks. They are not afraid to fail; not just once, but over and over again. Successful people are not afraid of rejection..hahaha, in fact rejection is quite normal to them. You have got to have the courage to put your ideas into action. All the things you see today that people have come up with, the new inventions, innovations, and products, it’s because they were not afraid to fail, and to take risks to put their ideas and dreams into reality.
You can ask anyone you know or think is successful or has succeeded in something that you are proud of, and ask whether he or she has never failed before, and the answer will shock you. If you are that kind of person who is afraid to start something because you are afraid it is going to fail, or because you don’t want to be embarrassed when it fails, you have got to change your perspective about what you think success is. You have got be willing to try things out. You have got to have courage to go after your goals and dreams even when they look terrifying to you.
- Don’t sweat about what they’re going to say about you
It comes with the territory; the more successful you get, the more opposition you’ll get. Do not think about what other people are going to think about you, or sweat about what they are saying about you already. The moment you start thriving, expect some kind of opposition. Some opposition will be there to teach you to grow, to become better, and for you to learn because it’s part of the competition you have to go through whether it’s personal or business endeavor, while the rest of opposition are just ‘naysayers.’
Unfortunately, the minute you start thriving, not everybody is going to be happy of your success. You do not worry, keep moving ahead. If you shrink your desire so you don’t break anybody else’s heart, you will never make where you want to go. Life sometimes is just the way it is, and you can’t control everything. Be you, do you, and don’t sweat about what there are going to say about you. Do not worry about what people think of you.
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