Marriage | A Single Person Perspective

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22

I don’t know about you, I didn’t know how important it is to pray for my future husband and marriage from early on. I really wish I knew about this early in my teenage years. Even after I got born-again later on, I didn’t know that I was supposed to pray for my future husband and my marriage ahead of time until I started attending Church seminars for single people to teach us about dating and marriage relationships. It took me a while even to start attending some of those seminars, because I thought I didn’t need them.

Basically the person you are going to marry is going to affect your life, and if you are a born-again Christian, it will be pretty much your whole life after you get married. So it’s better to start praying now, and early on; it’s for our own good…hahaha. There is no such a thing like to pray too early. And we can never say it’s too late to pray, I mean for those of us who are kind of feeling we are getting old, there is no need for it now. It’s always a good thing to prepare ahead of time, you never know, things can change for you.

I am sorry to say this but sometimes people base marriage on looks, sexual feelings, and love of something such as money, and et cetera. Make sure the foundation you build your marriage with is right. Build your foundation on the rock so that your love and  marriage can stand the test of time. Just like The Lord said in the book of Luke chapter 12 verse 23 that ‘life is more than food and the body more than clothes,’ marriage is the same thing; it’s more than you may be thinking it is. In the Bible in the book of Psalm chapter 127 verse 1 it also says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”

Marriage is a covenant or agreement between a man and a woman; yes, a man and a woman, and not same gender. In the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 22, it says that God made a woman and He brought her to the man. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate, including changing what naturally should be with gender. I mean the second part of not changing what naturally should be with gender is my own perspective. But in the book of Mark chapter 10 reading from verse 6 to 9, The Lord Jesus said, “But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

This is how you can learn about marriage on your own if you are Christian; if the Word of God in the Bible doesn’t confirm it, don’t go for it. For instance; we already know the Word of God does not permit you to marry someone of the same gender. It does not also permit you to marry a married man or woman, or have an affair. But also it does not say marriage is about slavery to mastery relationship.

In the book of Ephesians chapter 5, reading from verse 22 to 33, it records:

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands in everything [respecting both their position as protector and their responsibility to God as head of the house]. Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members (parts) of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined [and be faithfully devoted] to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery [of two becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of] Christ and the church. However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of loving-kindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].

To me, that is not slavery to mastery relationship. It means submit one to another in the fear of God. It doesn’t say to put up with some things that God does not approve of, if you know what I mean; things like abusive things and detestable in the eyes of God. It also means that the woman is not the one to be cooking and cleaning all the time; the man can help too, you know…hahaha.

Let me tell you something; this is how you notice the red flags in a woman’s perspective: if he beats you while you were only dating, he may destroy you after marriage. If he couldn’t wait or restrain himself from having sexual intimate with you until you get married, or maybe had another relationship while he was also dating you, what do you think he will do during marriage when you are too busy with kids or too busy to keep up with everything? Just think. So if you decide to marry him or her as she or he is, don’t be surprised later on when things happen as if you didn’t see those red flags before.

My suggestion is for you to start praying today to God for help even if you think it’s too late, maybe you are already in that relationship because you didn’t know better. Start now to pray every day for your marriage, for your partner. Ask God for guidance; should you stay, should you leave. Truth is that only God can change people. Usually people change when they want to change, and not because we want them to change. God can empower them to want to change. Yes, people sometimes change, but you can’t get into marriage expect people will change. Sometimes, it doesn’t work that way. Usually with more pressure put on them, it can get worse.

Like I said, I wish I knew early on the importance of start praying now and today for your future husband. Even if you think you may not get married soon, or it will happen five or ten years later so you still have time; it’s better to start praying today. And if you don’t know what you need to pray for and about, you can Google sample prayers for your marriage and your future husband, or wife.

Ask God to guide you when it’s time for you to make that marriage decision. This will help you not to lean on your own understanding. If you ask me, I think hormones can be very strong sometimes. Therefore you need that guidance from God to know the difference between simply falling in love and knowing for certain this is the person with whom God wants you to spend the rest of your life with. So when you pray, God will make it clear for you and help you cut off the relationship with someone who you may be attracted to, and perhaps he or she is not the one you should marry. If you don’t have that God’s peace that passes all understanding like the Bible says, then it’s best if you wait. Probably he or she could be the one, but maybe God is still working in her or him, so it’s not time yet. With time you will know if God maybe telling you something.

We don’t need to wait to learn about marriage until we get married ourselves. Life can teach us also by observing other people marriages and learn from their experiences so that we can avoid going through what they have gone, or maybe going through. Maybe God put them in our lives to learn from their struggles and their examples. So pray every day for your marriage and future husband or wife, or your already husband or wife, and marriage. You will be doing yourself a favor.

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