How to Make Peace with Your Setbacks

Abraham Lincoln said, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”

So is it really possible to change your enemies into friends? Well, it’s possible by the grace of God; Jesus did it, and is still doing it today. In the book of Luke chapter 23 verses 33 to 35, it records “When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified Him there, along with the criminals—one on His right, the other on His left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up His clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at Him. They said, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if He is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”

One thing I know for sure is that you can make peace with your enemies, forgive, and be good to them, but again it’s up to you and them to want to remain friends afterwards. In fact, as children of God, we are called to be peacemakers. In the book of Matthew chapter 5 verse 9, in New King James translation, it says “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

I don’t who exactly who said this, ‘our setbacks are platforms for our comeback.’ Your setback is a setup for your comeback. If that is the case, then we need to make peace with them so that we can comeback bigger than before. Let’s find out how we can make peace with our setbacks so that we can find ways to continue to persevere and win regardless of the situations we are in.

  • Accept what you cannot change

This is so obvious, we learn about it in our lives every day. There are things in life we cannot change even if we may want too. You have to figure out if this setback is within or beyond my control. You have to figure out which one needs a miracle, and which one you really need to do something about it yourself. When you find out this is something you cannot change unless it’s a miracle, and then make peace with it. Accept it as it is, and pray to God to show you a better way out, or give you a miracle, or help you manage it as it is. Accept what you cannot change and do something about what you can change about yourself, and your life.

  • Change your perspective

Decide how you are going to view things. Change your perspective on how you respond to your setbacks. This is huge; this will determine whether you are fit for the challenge. You have got to set your mindset right in order to overcome your setbacks. Right believing is for right living. Look at the bigger picture, and start from there. Allow yourself to feel the emotions, but don’t forget to ask yourself questions like “What can I do to fix this?” or “How and what can I do to turn this situation better?” “How can I move forward?” “Will this even matter in few years from now?” There is this guy I dated for longer than a year, and trust me I must had really liked him..hahaha. When we broke up it took a little while to move forward, because he was the only guy I dated that I thought maybe we were going somewhere. I blamed myself for wasting my time, sharing my heart with him, and blablabla..hahaha. But when I changed my perspective and realized maybe it was for the better because God may have other plans for me in mind, I managed to move forward quickly. So change your perspective on things.

  • Share your burden with others

Sometimes it can feel better as if a heavy weight lifted off your shoulders when you share your worries, burdens, problems, and talk about it with someone maybe a Pastor, a closed family member, a confidant, an adviser, and so on. Depending on the situation, choose careful who to share what with what, because it may backfire on you if the person ends up being untrustworthy and unprofessional. But definitely you should share your feelings with others to lighten the burden. When you share your problems and seek counseling you could get another person perspective to help you overcome your setbacks. They may know something that you don’t know that could be able to help you somehow. We also could give our burdens to the Lord through prayer and thanksgiving. You have been bearing it all; it’s time to place it onto God’s care. In the book of Psalm chapter 55 verse 22 it says, “Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” But also in Isaiah chapter 26 verse 3, it records that the Lord will keep in perfect peace all who trust in Him, all whose thoughts are fixed on Him.

  • Give it time and it will heal

No matter what you go through, give it time. We all know how it really feels to losing people that were very close to you. I will give you an example; I lost a family friend and close friend when I was young during secondary school. We grew up together; her father and my father were friends. She had been battling diabetes since we were really young. I remembered how it took me a while to move forward when the Lord took her, and for nearly a couple of months I was having dreams of her, until my Mom decided to ask our home Roman Catholic Church at the time to dedicate an entire Church service to pray for her. After that I stopped dreaming about her, and I was able to move forward. With every setback, give it time, it will heal. Some setbacks may not go away, or resolved as quickly as you want, but it will come time you will be able to make peace with them, or accept them as they are, or be able to calm down so that you can figure out how to overcoming and managing them. Many times we are able to get over things if we give them time.

  • It can only make you stronger

Embrace the lessons you have learned from it. If it hasn’t killed or destroy you yet, then it can just make you stronger. Do you remember that famous saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Why lemons? Because lemons usually are sour, while lemonade drink is usually sweet. So basically when you are faced with setbacks, adversity, or misfortune, take something positive from the situation, and embrace that. Turn it into lemonade, something sweet…hahaha. Read their stories and learn how some successful people have been able to turn their tragedy, or their setbacks and failures into success. You can make peace with your failures by turning them into successes. Take the lessons your setbacks that teach you and make something better out of them. As long as you are still alive, things can change for you for the better. There is always a way to overcome your setbacks. Look at your setbacks as weight-lift to build your muscles.

Related: Failure is an Opportunity

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To your success,

Helen Majaga

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