I don’t know a lot about tragedies, apart from my own and my loved ones struggles, setbacks, and adversity. One thing I know that you can always begin again. You can always start again.
When my parents got divorced it was so hard on both sides; my mom’s and dad’s side. Even before the divorce, when they were separated, it was really sad seeing the family ripped apart. By this time my parents have been married and been together for about 20 years already with six children. So imagine how bad it was for both of them to start all over again.
When my mom left, she didn’t even take all her clothes. She took a few clothes and shoes, her few other documentation and work files, and that’s it. After that she started everything from the scratch. She had her job bank at the time, and of course us, her children. My older sister I think was in freshman college year and I just started secondary school.
Between the periods of separation until the divorce was finalized none of her colleagues knew she was going through very tough times. It was only my closed family members and a few of our neighbors that knew that my parents were about to having a divorce. Even after the divorce my mom kept on wearing her wedding ring, and still using my dad’s name. She did that until all legal issues were sorted out.
I remember how life was very tough for us because of my parents’ separation and divorce. Both my parents started everything over again. After the divorced was finalized, my dad immediately moved from the family house we grew up, because there were too many memories there, it felt empty. He moved to one of his houses in another area, far from where we used to live. He also had to start over again from the scratch. He got married with my step mom, and had two more children with her.
During the separation until the divorce was finalized and everything sorted out, I remember looking at my mom how she was trying to be strong, secretly crying without making a noise. You know sometimes you could just cry silently without opening your mouth, and tears could be coming out of your eyes. I was young, but I still knew this wasn’t right. Moving from a much bigger house to a three room place. Even thought it was one of our parents’ houses, the only one my mom could go because the rest were rented, but we couldn’t occupy all the house; the house had two sections, but one section was rented. In those three rooms, one was the bedroom, one was the kitchen, and one was the sitting room which in the evening became a bedroom. Let me just tell you, there were more than five people living in those three rooms. And I watched my mom buying one thing at a time; everything all over again on top of that raising us.
It was tough, but both my parents managed to move on. It wasn’t easy, but little by little they regained everything back. My mom also got married years later to my step dad. Everything worked out for both of them.
In life there are going to come obstacles and tragedies. Some of them can come as humanitarian crises such as hurricanes, wars and abductions, some of them as single based like, such as an illness or an accident, some of them could be poverty stricken situations. All of these are tragedies that can happen to anyone as part of life.
Myself for example; I have been battling something for a while now. Some of my closed ones know my struggles. Like all adversity, some days it will be hard to cope with everything, and some days you will manage to remain positive as if nothing bothers you. I have been through storms and struggles in my life, but this battle is the only thing has took me longer to overcome and get a breakthrough. But I have learned to overcome by staying positive, courageous, and strong. The support of my loved ones and my local Church also has helped me and made some things easy for me during my difficult times.
All I can say is that my adversities have taught me to trust in God with everything concerning me, but also to refuse to fail and feel self-pity. Many times I cried so hard and even slept over time and refused to get out of bed. But I will usually bounce back and recover. I would pray, spend time in the Word of God, listening to faith building messages, praise and uplifting songs, and I will find inner strength to carry on. In days when everything seems dark, God will even send someone to encourage me to help me bounce back.
From my own experiences and what I have observe others and how they cope with tough and tragic times is that you have to be strong. It’s not the end of everything for you. Rely on the inner strength that comes from God from within you. But also seek help and support from the Church for instance, or from your loved ones and friends, or maybe get a professional help if you can. It’s always good to talk to someone, and to have someone by your side to help you feel that you are not alone.
You can start again. Yes, it will be hard, but as long as there is God, there is hope; you can start again.
The best way to overcome your fears, struggles, discouragements, disappointments, and defeat is to face them. You need to acknowledge that you are overwhelmed, discouraged, and disappointed. So that you can know you have a problem that you need to find a solution and overcome. And after that just refuse to remain defeated, and decide to do something about it. Depending on your circumstances, it may take you years, but however and how long is going to take you to recover, don’t give up. It’s okay to cry and have personal grieving moments to heal inner wounds and disappointments, but don’t remain there stuck for long. By the grace of God, you will make it again. There is this saying, “Inch by inch life’s a cinch.”
My heart goes out to everyone who is going through tough times all around the globe. Please, when you feel like giving up or you feel you are about to lose your mind, I encourage you to just pray even if it’s few words, or one sentence. There is someone special called The Holy Spirit of God, the Comforter, living inside of us. He will find a way to comfort you and help you get up again. He may use another person, or use a television program, or a song in the super market, or whenever you are, even when you are alone He can give you that inner strength to help you carry on.
There is always a way to overcome our situations during our tough times. It’s not the end of everything. Believe. Have hope. Have faith. God can make a way where it seems to be no way.
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