In our previous post of our series “The Kingdom Of GOD In,” we learn that marriage is sacred. Divorce is not a Will of GOD for our lives. GOD expects us to learn to love each other and to forgive each other if one of us happened to fall into temptations that cause marriages to tremble. Today I want us to learn about few things about marriage. This will be our continuation so let’s call it “Marriage 103 for Singles but Not Looking”…hahaha. And then in our next post we are going to continue with our series, we are going to rebuke more inherited marital foundations, but we are also going to rebuke the spirit of witchcraft and its associates.
Okay, so, just because I am not married as of right now, it doesn’t mean I don’t know a little something about marriage…hahaha. I have done my research for my own sake, and I would like to share some of the particulars about marriage I have learned so far. I have other posts concerning this topic that I have posted before; and in near future I will put them together in a series for Our Membership Monthly Program. If you would like to able to access this series when I share it, click here.
So let’s continue. I have come up with five points, and again you can agree or disagree, this is my own perspective, nobody is forced into it. What are these five things that we need to know before you get into marriage covenant?
First, we cannot be praying for GOD to bring us godly spouses when we are not willing to be godly ourselves. GOD will not bring you a godly woman or man so that you can destroy that person. Sometimes in life we must make serious decisions, and this is one of them. We should be willing to allow GOD to make us godly men and women so that we can be godly spouses, parents, children, friends, coworkers, and so forth. Therefore, before we get into marriage covenant, it’s better to ask the LORD to help us with our dysfunctional issues. While GOD is preparing us for our marriage covenants, we need to ask HIM to show us areas that we need to change and resolve, and as well help us deal with our baggage, past wounds, past relationships if we had ones, our wrong inherited marital foundations, and et cetera so that we won’t carry them into our marriages and transfer their patterns to our children as well. So we have got to be willing to change even ourselves. We shouldn’t expect GOD to change our spouses to be when we are not willing to change also to be that person we want them to be.
Second, you will attract what you believe that you are worth, not just what you want. I will give you an example. If you believe that your identity is in the LORD JESUS CHRIST, and it comes from HIM alone, then you will begin to attract like-minded people. Meaning that if you want certain kind of people, but you don’t believe you are worth to have them in your life, or you don’t deserve to have such people in your life, you are going to have a problem to attract such people. It’s not about what you want; it’s about what you believe about yourself. So take a notice of the people you attract, and then you will notice something about yourself. If people coming to you are rich, and you haven’t even finished paying your debts yet, then there is something about you that believe your situation is only temporary, things will get better. You have a mindset of a rich person. So it’s not about what you want, it’s about your belief. When you believe right, you will attract right.
Third, we have got to be willing to wait. The devil doesn’t want you to enter into marriage covenant with a person GOD has for you for many reasons. Therefore, he will try to send you a counterfeit. And when you don’t know the truth that GOD cares even about the person you marry, you will settle for less. The devil will put you in circumstances that are so difficulty so that you end up settling for less. It will look like GOD is not able to answer your prayers and bring you the man of your dreams…hahaha. I mean, seriously, the devil will put you in a desperate situation or position, and if you are not careful, you will end up believing a lie. That’s why it’s very important to wait on GOD. We need to focus on being in right standing with GOD first. GOD should be our first priority so that everything else in life including our spouses, children, and family members can be in order. It is GOD Who helps us keep in order everything and every relationship in our lives.
Fourth, we need to ask GOD in prayer to help us discern the people we are going to marry. GOD will speak with us, in our spirits and confirm to us. You will know it and HE will give you peace about it. So don’t marry someone who comes to tell you GOD said you are going to be his or her spouse without confirming with GOD yourself first. You need to pray to GOD to help you discern about this individual you want to marry. You can’t just depend on your fleshly and natural reasoning. Our relationships and whom we are to marry are very important because they can either destroy us the most, or they can help empower us the most. That’s why we need to be very careful in choosing and finding our spouses. We need to learn to wait and listen to GOD’s voice and do things in His Ways. We need to trust GOD and stop manipulating things on our own. GOD knows what’s best for us. What GOD has for you is for you, and you don’t have to manipulate things about it. But also GOD will not force you to marry someone you don’t like either. If you don’t have peace about it, then it’s a sign that HE is not GOD’s best for you.
Fifth, your spouse will close the place of your flesh and will have your missing rib…hahaha. In the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 to 25, it says that “The LORD GOD said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the LORD GOD had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD GOD caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD GOD made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
GOD cares about who you marry. He presented Eve to Adam, and there was identification between Eve and Adam. What was that identification? Eve had a missing part of Adam in her, which is his rib…hahaha. When GOD put Adam to sleep, He took out his rib and formed Eve. So your Adam a.k.a your spouse from GOD is supposed to identify his rib or a part of him in you. And your Eve will identify a part of herself in her Adam. It will be a spiritual identification. With GOD’s help, you will be able to discern it in your spirit, and not with your fleshy eyes or mindset. Remember now, the LORD GOD said, I will make you a helper suitable for him. So Marriage is for a purpose. If we look at the LORD JESUS and HIS Bride, the Church, then we learn that our spouses are not merely given to us to fundamentally be for us and our enjoyment. It is primarily so that we can live as one flesh and represent the glory of GOD. Your spouse was given to you to help you be more like JESUS and to better represent Him. Your spouse will empower the call of GOD in your life. And the same for you, the call of GOD in your life is going to empower your spouse’s GOD’s call in his or her life. Your spouse is also supposed to close the place of your flesh where the rib was taken. So we need to ask the LORD to help us find a spouse who will close the place of our flesh, because if our flesh is what drives us, we will be destroyed by the consequences. We can’t look at marriage and life really, through fleshly perspective. Our fleshly desires such as the outward appearances, net worth, and lust for our bodies and sexual immoralities, they may destroy the plans of GOD for our lives and the whole significance of marriage.
I have seen people being put in sad situations in their marriages. I have seen women who were married to be house helpers, not their spouse helpers. There is a difference here. The man comes and goes, with many work-related trips. So he married a house cleaner and keeper, to look after their house. I have seen some women raised children by themselves; the man doesn’t even know where the diaper bag is. They think it’s a woman’s job. I mean, there are some people are in marriages and are missing the whole point of marriage and what it’s to be a helper really mean. I understand each of the spouses has to concentrate on their strengths, which basically is supposed to cover each other weaknesses, but there are some things are not about strengths or weaknesses. Don’t say you are weak in certain area for instance as an excuse to avoid spending time with your children. I once mentioned before, I rather have a small carat diamond ring than to have an empty big house with a burden to clean and maintain. We are supposed to make a home not a house…hahaha. And a home is where your heart is. So if you keep moving from hotels to hotels, then it may sound that’s where your heart is. I’m just trying to make a point.
Now for those who are already married, don’t say you have married a wrong person. GOD has already united you as one. Just rededicate your marriage to GOD, and make a serious decision to involve HIM this time. You can ask GOD for help to rebuild your marriage in His Ways and His Foundations. Believe or not, GOD teaches His People. HE will take you into marriage seminars. HE will bring people in your lives so you can observe a good model of what marriage really is. One thing I know is that GOD desires godly spouses and godly children. So be determined from now on, you are going to live GOD’s Way.
Helen Majaga is a founder of Helen Majaga International, Live to Your Full Potential Podcast & YouCount Magazine, specializing in the training and development of individuals and businesses to achieve personal and professional goals.
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